What I learned from Jerry Springer

So, I have a new office, and I share it with a long time co-worker and friend. She happens to have a Jerry Springer addiction. Which is cool. But I basically get to listen to Springer (and sometimes Maury) reruns all day. I have come to the conclusion, that there are very certain signs your boyfriend/husband/baby daddy is sleeping with someone else.

  • They have cheated before
  • There is a lock code on their phone
  • They have a secret phone
  • They hide their phone.
  • They stay up to all hours of the night online
  • They often take calls in the bathroom, or walk away when answering
  • You don’t have sex any more
  • They leave for hours on end, without explanation
  • They work alot of overtime.
  • They have multiple social network accounts.
  • They work with an ex.
  • They have a child from a recent break up and spend alot of time “visiting” the child
  • They dont post about you on Facebook anymore.
  • Their best friend is their opposite sex.
  • You have a roommate of the their opposite sex.
  • You go to sleep while your boyfriend/husband/wife/girlfriend hangs out with your best friend
  • They go out to lunch and dinner with their opposite sex friend more than they go with you.
  • They meet the opposite sex in the parking lot.
  • You find condoms in their car
  • They start working later and later hours.

So basically, quit work, so worrying about yourself and devote all your time to tracking, checking phone records, cleaning their car (to look for paraphernalia) check their 15 social network pages daily, never leave their side unless absolutely necessary. Going to work with them so they don’t have to work late, wait outside the bathroom door and be awake whenever there is someone else around.

And there, your problem is solved. No worries anymore. Glad I could be of assistance.